Dear Mr. Yelling Screaming Fancy Pants Man,

Thank you kindly for your e-mail. I can't tell you how glad I am to hear you tell me that Kittie would excrete their past candy bars and left-over meat loafs on my site. And then to be so kind as to tell me again in the same paragraph? Magnifique! Or however those dirty French men spell it. And I literally jumped up for joy when you told me that they would then take whatever left-over fecal matter they have and deposit it on my person. Oh! How beautiful that would be. I'd roll around in it and kiss it and hug it and make love to it. So, I thank you, good citizen. And, as a reward, I will warn you about the dangers of genital herpes.
Herpes simplex is a common and usually mild infection. It can cause "cold sores" or "fever blisters" on the mouth or face--what is called oral herpes. It can also cause similar symptoms in the genital area, which is known as genital herpes.
A virus causes herpes--either herpes simplex type 1 (HSV-1) or herpes simplex type 2 (HSV-2). It is different from other common viral infections because once it is introduced it lives in the body over a lifetime, often without symptoms or with periodic symptoms. This is called "latency.". The virus can travel the nerve pathways in a part of the body and hide away, sleeping, in the nerve roots for long periods of time. Even though HSV may not cause "cold sores" or genital signs or symptoms at the moment, it can still cause symptoms later.
Herpes is spread by direct skin-to-skin contact. For example, if you have a cold sore and kiss someone, the virus can be transferred and the person you kiss will get HSV. If you have active genital herpes and have vaginal or anal intercourse, the virus can be transmitted to your partner. And, if you have a cold sore and put your mouth on a partner's genitals (oral sex), the partner can acquire genital herpes.
In a new relationship there is always risk. Usually this risk is emotional. When a partner has herpes, there is additional risk that you could get it, too. You may have concerns about risking infection for a relationship that may not last. You'll want to understand how to lower the risk for infection and ways to talk with your partner. Remember, if you have been sexually active you may already have been at risk for herpes. You may have it and not know it. Because herpes can be spread without symptoms it can be hard to know when a person became infected and who infected them. In fact, if you and your partner have had sex, it's possible your partner got herpes from you.
Get tested and know the medical treatments available for your partner.
In an intimate, sexual relationship with a person who has herpes, the risk of contracting the infection will never be zero. Some couples have sexual relationships for years without transmitting herpes just by avoiding sexual contact during outbreaks, using condoms regularly and using suppressive antiviral therapy to reduce outbreaks. Couples deal successfully with herpes all the time. For many, it is a minor inconvenience. Since herpes does not pose a serious health risk, some couples choose not to use condoms in a long-term relationship. If you're not sure about the relationship or you're uncomfortable with the risk, consider delaying intimacy for a while. Get to know your partner better and give yourself time. Remember, all relationships face challenges, most far tougher than herpes. Good relationships stand or fall on far more important issues--including communication, respect and trust.
For most people, the social and emotional impact of herpes is greater than the physical distress. At least in the beginning. Society tends to have a judgmental attitude about sexually transmitted diseases. Many people feel embarrassed or isolated after they are diagnosed. With time, accurate information and support, most people put herpes in perspective. A diagnosis of herpes can challenge our personal view of sexuality and health. Many people can be uncomfortable talking about it. Once you or a partner knows more, know the facts, you may find your views changing.
Some people don't tell, or don't tell every partner. Some don't tell until after they've had sex. It's important that herpes does not become a secret--for many reasons.
First, have you come to terms yourself with having herpes? If you haven't, then it's unrealistic to expect another person to understand. How well informed are you? Do you know the basic steps to reduce the risk to your partner? Do you know the facts about herpes? You want to feel confident and knowledgeable before you can explain the infection to someone else.
Be prepared by reading the ASHA-published and award-winning book, Managing Herpes, subscribe to the quarterly newsletter, the helper, or order the Herpes Facts Pack, that includes the newsletter and book plus the booklet, Understanding Herpes.
Have educational materials on-hand for your partner to read. Be prepared to answer questions. If you don't know the answer to a question, find out. Contact the National Herpes Hotline at (919) 361-8488, your local health department, your doctor or your local HELP Group for support.
This can be a sensitive topic and knowing when to raise it is important. It's best to let the friendship develop first, but it's best not to wait until after you've become sexually intimate. Then, the issue can become tangled in feelings of anger and mistrust. Remember, telling a partner about herpes is only a small part of relationship building. This disclosure can enhance your honesty and openness, and demonstrate your ability to have and maintain an intimate relationship.
Good night, Chicago!

I'm just so fresh and clean,
-Trent