10/1/2000 - The beginning of the month. Whoopie.
10/2/2000 - I found out the lyrics to the "I"m A Little Tea Pot" song that I didn't know. But now I've forgotten them. Curses!
10/3/2000 - Here are even more search engine keywords people have used to find this site: lucky charms original marshmallows, pierced tattoo, dolphin suck it (Webmasters note: Upright Citizens Brigade! Hell yeah!), naked fat guy, Ozzfest 2000 naked pictures, naked eskimos, dolphin penis, i love the cocaine, buckcherry, gladiator movie, hello kittie, stone temple pilots, zorak action figures. You guys rule.
10/4/2000 - Man, oh, man! My server is now using pop up ads?!?!?! Grrrr! Don't worry about them, though. They sent me an e-mail telling me that the pop up ads only appear once (or was that once a month? I can't remember). So, sorry about the pop up ads. I mean, hell, the retardedly shaped banners are bad enough. But let's just learn to ignore them and maybe they'll go away.
10/5/2000 - I don't believe in magic.
10/6/2000 - I don't believe in I-Ching.
10/7/2000 - I don't believe in Bible.
10/8/2000 - I don't believe in tarot.
10/9/2000 - I don't believe in Hitler.
10/10/2000 - I don't believe in Jesus.
10/11/2000 - I don't believe in Kennedy.
10/12/2000 - I don't believe in Buddha.
10/13/2000 - I don't believe in mantra.
10/14/2000 - I don't believe in gita.
10/15/2000 - I don't believe in yoga.
10/16/2000 - I don't believe in kings.
10/17/2000 - I don't believe in Elvis.
10/18/2000 - I don't believe in Zimmerman.
10/19/2000 - I don't believe in Beatles.
10/20/2000 - I just believe in me. John Lennon and me. And that's reality.
10/21/2000 - I am the god of bad party music.
10/22/2000 - Updates. Updates. Lovely, lovely updates. Updates. Updates. Read 'em now. Yum!
10/23/2000 - I'm bald now.
10/24/2000 - I'm not bald. I was just foolin'.
10/25/2000 - My head is shiny. And my hair roams wild like untamed steeds on the plains of Evermore!
10/26/2000 - I had something important to say. But I thought I'd go downstairs and eat a donut first. Since my room is so messy, I figured the safest way to get out was to jump from the bed, onto my chair, and to a "safe zone" near the door that isn't quite as messy as the rest of my room. However, I forgot to take into account that my chair swivels. So I jumped on the chair, it swiveled, and I fell off. I hit my head against a dresser. Ouchie.
10/27/2000 - Look out, Son of Flying Pig! Good heavens! A bird of prey has the Son of Flying Pig! Now who will save the people of the city from life's many boring line-ups?
10/28/2000 - Vegeta is the coolest man alive. Or semi-alive, depending on how you look at it.
10/29/2000 - I don't live in a yellow submarine. A yellow submarine. A yellow submarine.
10/30/2000 - I scared an entire family of red-heads. Which was strange because I didn't do it on purpose. It just sort of happened.
10/31/2000 - Happy Halloween. As a Halloween treat to you, I will not update. HA HA HA HA!!! It was really a trick! Not a treat! It was a trick! HA HA HA HA!!!!
11/1/2000 - There are some neat pictures of Kittie in Circus this month. The first is a full-page pic of Fallon playing guitar. It's neato. Then there's a small picture of the entire band. Sadly, it's the only time you'll see Mercedes in the entire mag. Boo hoo. Then there's a full-page pic of Morgan play guitar. Double neato. A small picture of Fallon follows that. In the pic, Fallon either has two of the strangest nose rings in the history of nose rings or she's got giant boogers hanging out. Ew! Fallon boogers! Big, heaping, gooey, green Fallon boogers!!!! Talena is forgetting to play her bass in the next full-page pic. And in it, she looks pregnant. The photographers for Circus are really bad. Later in the mag, there's a picture of Limp Bizkit where they all look like stunted midgets. No joke, either. Or maybe she really is pregnant!! And dead!!! The last pic is a small picture of Morgan. A small picture of Morgan... WITH A BIG WET SPOT ON HER BOOBY!!!! Whoa. This picture is so great that IT'S ON THE COVER, TOO!!! There's so much joke material here that it makes my brain hurt. Heh. Boobs.
11/2/2000 - Heh. Boobs.
11/3/2000 - Heh. Boobs.
11/4/2000 - Heh. Boobs.
11/5/2000 - Heh. Boobs.
11/6/2000 - Here are some more search engine keywords people have used to find this site: eskimos in england, papa roach shirt, lesbian goths, cookie monster, eating poo, Josh Burbank, pierced transgendered, pictures of foresty, Mohawk park, methane, on the sidewalk bleeding, telekinetic bondage, completely name Picasso, death to morgan, britneys fat belly, bon jovi karaoke, naked pics of da brat, bon jovi song interpretations, free alexis christian pictures, french fat girls, face fart worship, long toenails. Also used quite often were the "fallon/morgan/mercedes/talena porn" phrases. Strange. Very strange, indeed.
11/7/2000 - 
11/8/2000 - In this time of introspection, on the eve of my election, I say to my reflection, "God please spare me more rejection." 'Cause my peers they criticize me, and my ex-wives all despise me, try to put it all behind me. But my redneck past is nipping at my heels.
11/9/2000 - After viewing the movie "Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows," I have an overwhelming urge to kidnap a wiccan, goth girl and have her live in my closet. I'd feed her Pop Tarts and Sunny Delight. She'd live in between a pile of old clothes and my action figure bin. I'd take good care of her. I'd make sure she got plenty of excercise and bathed daily. When people come over, I'd say, "This is my wiccan, goth girl. She's chock full of radicity." Then she'd do a trick or two (such as writing bad poetry or eating baby heads). And the feminists would all get angry at me.
11/10/2000 - This is not
11/11/2000 - K
11/12/2000 - I
11/13/2000 - T
11/14/2000 - T
11/15/2000 - I
11/16/2000 - E
11/17/2000 - related. It's also none of the following: funny, useful, intelligent, and/or innovative. However, it is cheating, unlawful, and silly.
11/18/2000 - Here is your update. What? It's not funny?!?! Well, then, no update for you! No update for you!
11/19/2000 - I can't quit you, babe.
11/20/2000 - Whoa. Get "No Mercy" for the N64. It's the bestest wrestling video game. Ever. In the history of best wrestling video games. If you don't agree, I'll buy you a poached egg. AND THEN BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH IT!!!
11/21/2000 - I am the world's most powerful super hero. I... AM... IRON MAN!!
11/22/2000 - This update has no letter "k." It's evil! EVIL!
11/23/2000 - Carry on my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more. Buh nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuh nuh, nuh nuh nuhnuhnuh. Nuuuuuh nuuuuuh, nuuuuh nuuuuuh. Rinse and repeat.
11/24/2000 - You know a cheeseburger is great when its grease eats through the wrapping, eats through the bag, and leaves a giant stain on your shirt. Hoo-wah!
11/25/2000 - I created the ultimate wrestler in No Mercy. He is the paragon of radness, the innovator of awesomeness, and an even bigger sex symbol than yours truly. He is: LORD DOUCHE BAG! Standing over 7 feet tall and weighing a (muscular) 800 lbs, he has decimated the entire WWF roster. Watch out, you pencil-necked geeks! HE'S COMING FOR YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!
11/26/2000 - Well, I've finally thought up a new section of the site. It's one of those complicated computer games you play over the internet. But it's not just any game! It's a Kittie game! Yes, that's right: you, too, can take control of your favorite Kittie member and do many neato things! Race through the untamed wilderness of Canada! Fight other bands to the death a la Mortal Kombat! Do my laundry! It'll be fun-filled comedy for the whole family. Then, afterwards, you can fall out of your chair and curse the high heavens because you wasted precious moments of your life waiting for the thing to download! HA HA HA HA!!! I have stolen part of your life! Now, I just need to find someone to make it for me...
11/27/2000 - Boo!
11/28/2000 - Hey, there's a spider on your shoulder.
11/29/2000 - The link to We Love Byron has been updated. So visit the all new, all improved, all other positive adjectived We Love Byron homepage. Groovy.
11/30/2000 until 12/24/2000 - I'm on vacation. So, while updating is easily within my power, don't expect too much because I'm a lazy bastard.
12/25/2000 - Merry Christmas.
| 12/26/2000 until 12/31/2000 - I'm still on vacation.
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