Talena Is Dead!

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During the year 2000, many rumors about heavy metal band Kittie have emerged. Such examples are that the members of Kittie paid their parents to write their songs, they decorate their homes with dead babies, they're all Canadian, and they're incestuous lesbian sisters. However, one rumor that has not appeared is the rumor that bassist Talena Atfield is, in fact, dead. Recently, I have unearthed clues that prove this rumor to be true! These clues were hidden by Kittie in their merchandise. So, for the first time anywhere, here is the overwhelming evidence that proves Talena Atfield is really dead. Enjoy!

Album Clues:

Spit

Fact: On the album, it notes that Talena does vocals.
Fact: Talena does not do any vocals on the album.
- Conclusion: Talena doesn't do any vocals because she's dead. The band just tells us she does vocals to try to convince us she's still alive.

Fact: On the album, it notes that Talena plays the bass.
Fact: Hidden in the album, it says that tanya Candler really played bass on the album.
- Conclusion: Talena didn't play bass on the album because she's dead.

Fact: On the cover, both Mercedes and Fallon are standing farthest away from Talena.
Fact: Fallon and Mercedes are clutching their stomachs. It looks as if they're sick.
- Conclusion: Fallon and Mercedes couldn't stand the smell of Talena's rotting corpse. So they're standing far away but they're still going to be sick.

Fact: On the cover, we can't see Talena's arms or hands.
Fact: We can see the arms and hands of the other band members.
- Conclusion: Talena's arms fell off.

Fact: On the inside flap, the band is divided into four seperate box shots.
Fact: On the last album that the Beatles did, "Let It Be," the cover shot has the band divided into four seperate box shots.
Fact: When the two shots are compared, Talena is placed in the same place Paul McCartney is in.
Fact: Beatles fans in the 1960's used evidence from albums and songs to prove that Paul was really dead and that The Beatles were covering up the death.
Fact: I'm doing the same thing that Beatles fans did.
- Conclusion: Since Paul is dead and Talena is in the same place Paul is, Talena must be dead, too.
- Further conclusion: Not satisfied? Well, both Talena and Paul play the bass in their respective groups! So the connection is further proven!

Fact: In the same box shots, Talena is above Mercedes.
Fact: Mercedes is the only one pointing upwards. Towards Talena.
- Conclusion: Mercedes is pointing up, symbolising that we have to look up (to Heaven) to see Talena.

Fact: In the full group shot, Talena is the only band member who is standing.
- Conclusion: Talena standing is symbolic of her *rising up* above the rest of the band (who are sitting, which means they're still alive).

Fact: In the group shot, Talena is wearing a leather jacket.
Fact: To make a leather jacket, you have to kill a cow.
- Conclusion: Talena is wearing something dead because she's dead.

Music Video Clues:

Brackish

Fact: Talena has red hair.
Fact: Fallon has red hair.
- Conclusion: Talena is trying to look like Fallon. You see, since Fallon is alive, Talena is trying to look like she's alive.

Fact: Talena is wearing a dress with holes down the sides.
Fact: In order to preserve mummies, the Egyptians wrapped the corpses in bandages.
Fact: Talena's dress looks like mummy wrapping.
- Conclusion: The dress is really mummy wrapping and helps keep Talena's corpse fresh.

Fact: In almost every shot that contains only her, the camera is looking upward at her.
- Conclusion: This is symbolic. Since the camera is looking upward, it means we have to look up (to Heaven) to see Talena.

Fact: Talena is wearing black.
Fact: Black is the color associated with funerals.
- Conclusion: Talena wears black because she's dead.

Charlotte

Fact: The song itself added an odd "chorus" effect so that it sounds like all the girls are singing "It's not all right."
- Conclusion: The band is letting Talena rehearse for when she has to sing with the angels.

Fact: In the beginning of the video, one of the girls in white drops some rocks.
Fact: In her hand are 6 rocks. But the director cut off to a different scene when 4 of the rocks had fallen. Thus, 2 were still in the girl's hand.
- Conclusion: The 4 rocks that fell represent Kittie since there has to be 4 members in the group at all times. But the 2 remaining rocks represent lost members: Tanya and Talena.

Fact: The director then cuts back to one (the last) rock falling out of the girl's hand. The rest of the rocks are gone.
- Conclusion: This shows that one of the two lost members has gone a different route than everyone else. And since Tanya is still alive, it means Talena must have died.

Fact: When all the girls are on the bed, Talena is the only band member without shoes on.
Fact: In some societies, corpses are buried without their shoes on (this is actually true!).
- Conclusion: Since Talena has no shoes, she must have been buried all ready. So she's most obviously dead.

Fact: Talena is shown taking a red lollipop out of her mouth.
- Conclusion: The lollipop represents the blood that Talena lost now that she's dead.
  .

Movie Clues:

Spit In Your Eye

Fact: At the top of the front cover, there is a picture of all four band members. In it, Talena is the only member of the group looking down.
- Conclusion: Talena is looking down because she's buried in the ground.

Fact: In the same picture, Morgan is seen pointing to the sky.
Fact: Her hand is in a very interesting pose. One finger is pointing up, while the other three are in her palm. Her thumb is farthest away from the three fingers.
- Conclusion: The finger that is pointing towards the sky respresents Talena. You know, since she's dead. The other three fingers are the rest of Kittie, who are still down here on earth (and alive). The thumb is Tanya, who (while alive) is not there since the thumb isn't pointing directly upwards.

Fact: On the back of the video cover, Talena is (SURPRISE!) above the rest of the band.
- Side fact: Aside from being above the band, she's also completely seperate from them. See, the other three members are in a collage sort of thing. Whereas Talena is isolated in a different picture.
- Conclusion: This suggests that Talena is in Heaven, not on Earth. Therefore, she's dead.

Fact: On the back cover, Talena is behind a piece of paper.
Fact: To get paper, you have to kill a tree.
- Conclusion: Talena is behind a dead thing because she's dead.

Fact: During several points in the film, Talena tries to say something but is interrupted or talked over.
- Conclusion: The rest of the band doesn't notice when Talena says something because she's dead. And, as we all know, the dead can't communicate with the living.

Fact: When talking about the room she thinks is the donkey show room, Talena says it's the worst room she's ever seen. She concludes this sentence with "in my entire life." Then she shows us the room.
Fact: The room contains four people: Mercedes and three unknown guys. But at the very beginning, Mercedes leaves the room.
- Conclusion: The room represents Talena's life. The three guys in the room are Morgan, Fallon, and Mercedes. When Mercedes leaves the room, she represents Talena leaving the physical plane.

Fact: During the "bread stick" scene, Talena tells us to sit down or we'll have a heart attack.
Fact: Mercedes wasn't sitting down.
- Conclusion: Since Mercedes represents Talena (as proven above), it's a fact that Talena had a heart attack and died.

Fact: At the beginning of the Talena portion, Talena is shown limping through a parking lot.
Fact: We never learn why Talena is limping.
Fact: In the movie "Weekend At Bernie's," the two guys make Bernie walk by fastening him to strings. This makes Bernie walk, but he walks funny.
Fact: Talena is walking funny.
- Conclusion: Talena is walking funny because she's being moved by strings (since she's dead).
  - In case you don't know/remember: "Weekend At Bernie's" is a movie about two guys who discover that this guy named Bernie is dead. They fear what will happen if everyone else finds out, so they try to convince everyone he's alive. They do this by taking his corpse to public places and having it move around and interact with people.

Fact: In the video, Talena exclaims, "I don't wanna die, okay? NOT YET!"
- Conclusion: Talena doesn't realize she's dead. Or, like every rock star does, she's lying to us. She knows she's dead but doesn't want us to know. After all, she's the only member of the band to talk about death in the entire video.

Fact: Talena hides under a brown blanket. And won't (can't?) get out.
- Conclusion: The blanket is not a blanket, at all. It's really a body bag!

Fact: Talena steals a knife.
Fact: Talena steals an electric fence sign.
- Conclusion: Both items are related to (or are) instruments of death. Thus, Talena feels a connection to them.
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Misc. Clues:

Fact: It's commonly known that Talena is the quiet member of the group.
- Conclusion: Talena is quiet because she's dead.

Fact: Talena often wears black.
Fact: Black is the color associated with funerals.
- Conclusion: Talena wears black a lot because she's dead.

Fact: Talena's name is the only name in the band with an odd number of letters (first and last names only because I don't know their middle names).
- Conclusion: Talena has an odd number of letters in her name because she's the only dead member in the band.

Fact: Talena's name has 13 letters in it.
Fact: 13 is an unlucky number.
- Conclusion: Along with being dead, Talena is also unlucky.

Fact: When Talena signs autographs, she crosses her name out several times.
- Conclusion: She crosses out her name because she's really dead.

Fact: On the show "Later," when Kittie played Charlotte, Talena freaked out when she saw the camera was focused mainly on her.
- Conclusion: Talena freaked out because she was afraid people would realize she's dead.

Fact: Talena is a fan of the Pokemon known as Bulbasaur.
Fact: Bulbasaur is a half-plant/half-animal Pokemon.
Fact: Plants are associated with life. They create life, sustain life, but they never destroy life.
Fact: Animals are alive. They might kill, but it's so they or their families can live.
- Conclusion: Talena likes Bulbasaur because Bulbasaur is the paragon of living things. And, being dead, Talena likes things that are alive.

Fact: Talena is a fan of the comic book "Lenore."
Fact: "Lenore" is a comic book about a dead girl who stays "alive" and tries to live a normal life.
- Conclusion: Well, gee, do I really have to tell you?

Fact: Tanya, the first bassist for Kittie, left the group.
Fact: Talena begins the same way as Tanya.
- Conclusion: Talena also "left" the group by dying.

Fact: Jeska said Talena has nice knees.
- Conclusion: Talena has nice knees... BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!!!!

Talena Is Not Dead.